A Florida Christmas in Kansas!

 A Florida Christmas in Kansas!

Without the looming deadline of a church bulletin that needs to be printed before the weekend, I have slacked off in my writing recently. This is not an apology, just a reminder that I am in a different position than I have ever been before. In fact, I am in a different State than ever before! A different State plus a different state of mind have some advantages, as you shall see.

There are some disadvantages, too. As I write this article, midmorning on December 29, the 5th day in the Octave of Christmas and St. Thomas Becket’s feast day, the temperatures have finally climbed back to 17 degrees with 18 mph winds. The “feels like” temperature is claimed to be zero. This is exactly where it started this morning at 3:46 am, when I first woke up. By the beginning of the 7:30 Mass, it had dropped to 15 degrees, the wind had dialed itself back by the slightest little bit to 17 mph, and the “feels like” temperature was posted at -0. Yes, it had changed from 0 to minus zero. Perhaps it hadn’t fallen a full one degree below zero? Or maybe the person who posts these things did not have enough coffee at the time. Maybe he was about to attend Mass, too, and had to wait for coffee so that he could receive Holy Communion. Or maybe it is just a computer-generated thing, and this was simply one more glitch in the matrix.

Meanwhile, the temperature back in Tampa is showing 69 degrees, 4 mph winds, and a “feels like” temperature of 74. As I said, there are some disadvantages to being in Kansas!

Although temperatures are not the most important difference between being a parish priest in Tampa and a chaplain to the FLM Sisters in Redfield, it is the most obvious and noticeable! Two Sundays before Christmas, for instance, the altar boys came in reporting home thermometer readings of 4 degrees. That was slightly cooler than the app-reported 9 degrees with its -4 “feel like” temperature. My brother in Clermont lovingly sent me a photo he took that afternoon of his wife sitting peacefully in the sun as they took the boat out in the 78 degree weather. Not that he was rubbing it in, or anything like that...

But, although there is more to life than weather, God knew that I couldn’t handle a Kansas Christmas my first year here, so he sent us a Florida Christmas! Mid 70s and mild breezes (around here, that means 10-15 mph winds!) came along with Santa’s sleigh. Everybody is sure that God did this just for me, and I can’t argue with them. I have certainly spent time thanking Him for such a beautiful gift.

More than that, I spent a good portion of my time in the last few weeks leading up to Christmas with different priorities than I ever had as a parish priest. You see, I wasn’t in charge of anything this year! I didn’t have to coordinate the decoration of the church or social hall (or, more specifically, I didn’t have to coordinate the coordinators!), attend the Christmas gatherings for any—let alone many—diocesan entity or parish group, rush through end-of-year statistics for the diocese, make sick calls, assist at Advent Reconciliation nights for multiple local parishes, unclog the toilets in the social hall, hold liturgical meetings with the choir director and altar boy coordinators, or any of the other good and beneficial things that take up a priest’s time. Instead, I got to pray. And pray. And pray.

There were special times of prayer. There were special forms of prayer. Late at night. Early in the morning. Multiple times throughout the day. There were special chants and musical notations for the Breviary that I got to listen to without having to try to learn and chant. The Sisters did everything. All I did was silently pray with them, for them and for everyone else in need. I had the most prayerful Christmas I have ever had. With good weather, to boot!

There were a couple of odd, not exactly Christmassy things worth noting, too. The Sisters trapped an opossum outside their back church entrance late one night after we finished our last prayers of the day. The next morning, feeling sorry for the poor critter, the same one they were so happy to catch just a short time before, they took him about 100 steps in front of the church and let him go. If you can’t guess, he was back almost before they were.

For Christmas, the Sisters each have a scheduled time to speak with their family over the phone. I was privileged to hear a report from one Sister that her brother, a Carmelite, told her. One of the brothers got sprayed by a rabid skunk. Because the skunk looked rabid, they wanted to dispatch him. They had no luck finding him when armed, but as soon as the gun was put away, the skunk returned. The monk ran at him and kicked him into the next zip code and the next life. If you’ve already been sprayed, you have nothing left to lose! How differently men and women Religious deal with unwelcome varmints! I just hope, for the sake of the others, that that particular Carmelite monk had his own private hermitage cell!

Anyway, I really can’t describe how different it was to spend Christmas here. Although I was not able to be with family or a thousand parishioners, I was able to be with 18 Sisters, a handful of local families, and the Holy Family. A very prayerful, very enjoyable, Christmas.

Oh, I almost forgot. Last year, a parishioner gave me a very beautiful ornament with Our Lady of Czestochowa painted on it, but I opened it too late to hang it on the rectory tree so it never got packed away with the other Christmas stuff that I left behind. So it turned out to be the one ornament that I brought with me. I didn’t have a tree in my cell, so I hung it from one of the angel statues in the rear of the chapel. So far, nobody had mentioned it, maybe not noticed it, so it may be there for good! I had to get the tall ladder to hang it, but I didn’t want the Sisters to see me putting it up there. I kept checking for a time when the chapel was empty, but some of the Sisters were there no matter when I stopped by. (That is a good problem to have, by the way!) I finally had to do it in the middle of the night after they had all gone to sleep!

Well, as long as I am adding one photo, I might as well add another. I went with the Sisters to a local nursing home to visit the people and sing Christmas Carols. Outside, they had a redneck Christmas tree made of tires, painted green, with large ornaments hanging on it!

With prayers for your holiness,

Rev. Fr. Edwin Palka

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For those who wish to ask for prayers, discern a Vocation, or make donations:

[The Sisters now have a website! https://filiae.org/]

This blog is not monetized, since the good Sisters give me food and shelter. But if you wish to support the Filiae Laboris Mariae Sisters under my spiritual care, feel free to send them a note to: St. Joseph Convent, 1250 Hackberry Road, Redfield, KS 66769. They constantly pray, and their benefactors will get great spiritual rewards! That is also the address you can send snail mail to me. I suppose you already know or can guess my gmail address with the F*****P**** in front of it!

Part XI: Can "Internal" Fidgeting Be Conquered? Ignoring distractions at prayer.

 Part XI: Can "Internal" Fidgeting Be Conquered?

After writing about fidgeting in the chapel, it is time to get serious for a change. I was trying to stop fidgeting, not for myself, but for the sake of those around me, the Sisters. As I glossed over, I was perfectly capable of fidgeting and praying at the same time. It is no different than fidgeting while taking a test or engaging in a conversation. Somehow, the fidgeting helps the concentration, or the fidgeter wouldn’t fidget!

Before you try to object, let me acknowledge your complaints. Yes, sometimes fidgeting can be a sign of insecurity, nervousness, or a lack of concentration. I am not speaking of those temporary fidgets.

Tapping feet, drumming fingers, humming to oneself, whistling while you work, those are all fidgets that may be helpful to the fidgeter but, according to circumstances, can be quite annoying to others. Doing any or all of those things in the chapel during the community’s time for mental prayer would certainly be problematic!

So fidgeting has to be controlled. But that is just “external” fidgeting. Some of you asked how to get rid of the “internal” fidgeting, those things called distractions. How do you stop your mind from metaphorically chasing a squirrel when you are trying to meditate on the Third Sorrowful Mystery of the Rosary, for instance? After all, for the fidgeter, physical fidgets are nothing more than "background noise," but spiritual fidgets often take over the front and center position and push prayer to the back.

(A note to anyone suffering from scruples: be aware that the prayer continues, even though you are distracted, so you are not simply "wasting your time" in praying distractedly. True, it is not ideal, but don't let the demons convince you to stop praying altogether just because you don't have laser vision focus on God.)

If you have never had to hold your rosary up to look at which decade you have just completed because somewhere during that short time between starting the Creed and “right now” you switched from meditating on the Mysteries to thinking about how much laundry you had to do, you can skip the rest of this article.

As for the rest of you, I don’t have any magic trick to dazzle you with, but I will gladly point out one way (not the only way) of trying to calm the fidgety brain when simply attempting to spend quiet time with Our Lord.

First of all, when entering the chapel or church, be sure that your whole experience is different from any other place you enter or task you look to accomplish. You are here to pray, not to shop, socialize, or check incoming texts. Men, take off your hat; women, cover your head. Use Holy Water to bless yourself. Genuflect to Our Lord in the tabernacle. Double genuflect (that is, on both knees) if He is exposed on the altar in a monstrance or (less likely) a ciborium. Enter a pew away from others, if possible, and kneel in Adoration. Breathe slowly. Relax. You are in the presence of God.

Speak to the Lord. Silently. Deliberately. Slowly. Focus on Him. Not you. Not anyone else. Not anything else. Just Him. His relationship with you. Your relationship with Him. Pause between phrases. Between thoughts. Between sentences. If your mind wanders or fidgets, come back. Start over. And over. However many times it takes. Even if it takes all the time you have. He’s worth it.

Without being able to demonstrate this through speech, I will have to use line spaces to indicate a break of about a breath’s time. Read it like that. You’ll get the idea.

Jesus.

Lord.

God.

You are here.

You called me.

I am here.

But almost not.

You love me.

I don’t know why.

Yet You do.

Thank you.

I love you.

But not enough.

Help me.

You are God.

And I am not.

You love me perfectly.

I love you little.

I am sorry.

I need Your grace.

I need You.

You are here.

The Eucharist is You.

I believe.

Help my unbelief.

You are God.

And I am not.

You called me.

I answered.

But I hesitated.

I procrastinated.

I grumbled.

But You trusted.

You waited.

You gave me grace.

Thank you.

You love me.

Completely.

Eternally.

Infinitely.

Help me love You.

As You love me.

More than I do.

More than I desire.

More than I can imagine.

As You love.

You are God.

And I am not.

+++++++

This type of prayer, to control the mind’s fidgeting, is simply a preparation for deeper, focused, non-fidgety prayer. It can take just a few minutes or even all the time you have.  When (and if) you are ready, when peace has set in, when distractions are gone (again, that may take longer or shorter, depending on the day and circumstances), bring to Our Lord your prayers of petition and intercession. Use more words if needed. But continue using short statements between breaths. This forces you to concentrate, so the brain doesn’t easily go astray.

+++++++

Lord Jesus,

A young girl wrote me a letter.

She wants prayers.

She trusts me.

Because she trusts You.

She has a bold plan.

It is good.

It will help many people.

Grant her request.

If it is Your will.

Give her fortitude.

She will need it. What she has in mind, most adults are afraid to do. It will probably fail. She knows that. It is a long shot. But it will do much good if it succeeds. She comes from such a great family. Not perfect, but striving for holiness. All of the children have great faith, taught by their parents, homeschooled, active in the Church. I baptized a bunch of them, gave them First Holy Communion, Confirmation...

I’m sorry.

My brain fidgeted. I’m thinking of my relationship with the family, not so much yours. [No matter what the distraction was, I often simply tell Him I’m sorry, I was doing the laundry again!]

You are God.

And I am not.

Help her.

Please.

Thank you.

You are God.

And I am not.

A mother wrote to me.

About her son.

A good kid.

A good young man.

But he went astray.

His family wasn’t perfect.

He blamed You.

He blamed Your Church.

He knew better.

But he wandered anyway.

He found no joy.

No love.

Just temporary pleasure.

In sin.

He wants back.

He is scared.

Of you.

Of his family.

Of the Church.

Of his demons.

Please help him.

Help his parents.

Help his siblings.

He still has faith.

A tiny spark.

Deep inside.

Stoke the fire.

With the Holy Spirit.

Bring it back to life.

Bring him back to life.

Please.

Thank you.

You are God.

And I am not.

There was a man at Walmart.

A few weeks ago.

I told him I would pray extra for him.

I forgot.

I think.

I am sorry.

Bless him.

Then.

Now.

Later.

As you see fit.

I don’t remember why he needed the prayers. Maybe I did pray for him then, but I don’t remember doing it. I don’t remember not doing it, either.  I know it wasn’t so much a problem as just...

I’m sorry.

I was doing the laundry again.

I’m back with you.

You are God.

And I am not.

You know what he needed.

What he needs.

What he will need.

More than he knows.

More than I know.

You know.

Love him.

As you love me.

You are God.

And I am not.

+++++++

After you get settled in, so to speak, and you have presented your most pressing needs to our Savior, you are better prepared to pray the rosary, your pre-Mass prayers, the Stations of the Cross, Lectio Divina, silent meditation, or any other prayers you wish to offer. If just “getting in the zone” took all of your time, don’t get frustrated. Thank God that you had the opportunity to do what you did. Come back again when you have a chance and do it again. Practice makes perfect, or at least makes improvement! Some days will be more hectic, some more calm. Some days you may have more time, other days less. Spend as much time as you can with Him who is truly “Life,” and then get back to your earthly life. He knows you are not cloistered nuns or monks and really have to do laundry. He won’t hold it against you!

With prayers for your holiness,

Rev. Fr. Edwin Palka

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For those who wish to ask for prayers, discern a Vocation, or make donations:

[The Sisters now have a website! https://filiae.org/]

This blog is not monetized, since, as a Catholic Priest, I don’t need much money. But if you wish to support the Filiae Laboris Mariae Sisters under my spiritual care, feel free to send them a note to: St. Joseph Convent, 1250 Hackberry Road, Redfield, KS 66769. They constantly pray, and their benefactors will get great spiritual rewards! That is also the address you can send snail mail to me. I suppose you already know or can guess my gmail address with the F*****P**** in front of it!

The Sky Is Falling! Or is it tiny, frozen metiorites?