Down The Rabbit Hole

 Down The Rabbit Hole

Some of you have a hard time understanding how, changing from pastor of a “big city” parish to chaplain of a small Community of Sisters in the middle of nowhere, I am not bored out of my mind. The reality is, I don’t have time to be bored!

I know, I know. That doesn’t make any sense. All I do here is celebrate Mass for the Sisters, hear their confessions, teach a catechism class to the Postulants, have Exposition and Benediction for the community, and pray. Compare that very short list to the list of things I did as a parish priest, and your question makes sense. So let me give you an example of something that I find anything but dull, and that fills much of my “non-prayer” time.

You know that when I came here, realizing how limited my living space would be, I got rid of most of my “things,” including multiple bookshelves of very good books. I narrowed down to three boxes those that I would take with me. I was guessing as to which books would be absolutely necessary for my ministry here and parted with many that I used regularly, even daily, in the parish. Beyond the bare bones basics, I also packed some books that I had not yet gotten around to reading. I assumed that I would be spending much time delving into these good books. I was wrong. I don’t have the time. Because I read too much. What?

I can’t read my books because of rabbit holes. No, not the real ones dug by the rabbits out in the field. The Alice in Wonderland kind. Once you enter the rabbit hole, it just leads from one adventure to another, from one puzzle to another, from one curiosity to another. It is possible to return from the rabbit hole, but it sure takes a lot of time to find the way out!

For instance, I was trying to read a book I have had for several years and never got around to reading. The Theology of Religious Vocation by Rev. Edward Farrell, O.P. It received its imprimatur in 1951, so it was on the cusp of the vocation mass exodus that occurred after Vatican II. It is fairly short for a theology book, at just over 200 pages, so it should have been easy enough to finish. Spoiler alert: I still haven’t done so.

Before going any further, let me ask a question to those trying to either discern a vocation or to promote them. What exactly is a vocation? How will you know if you are called? How you view “vocation” will determine how you can know if you have one or how to promote them! Let me introduce you to the four different theories of what a vocation call actually is, as listed in this book. I will also do this book a true disservice by, after naming each theory, summarizing it without details or nuances. Which of them, if any, do you think is a real definition of “Vocation?”

 A. The Attraction Theory. It is “a divine call addressed immediately to a man’s soul, urging him instinctively, or perhaps even sensibly, as it were, by a secret voice to enter the clerical or religious state.” So, it’s an ongoing, overwhelming thought, feeling, or even a miraculous intervention/invitation that you can’t ignore because you know it’s coming from God.

B. External Vocation Theory. God calls to the priesthood only through an ordaining Bishop, who invites “a candidate to present himself for ordination”; or through “a religious superior approving or admitting an aspirant to profession or a candidate to the novitiate.” You just apply to a seminary or apply for entrance into a convent or monastery and see how it goes.

C. The General Vocation Theory. This is “an invitation made by Christ to all to follow Him in the perfect life, that is, by practicing the evangelical counsels.” According to this theory, everyone is called to live poverty, chastity, and obedience. If a man chooses (under the inspiration of general grace) to live this universal call to holiness as a religious or a priest, he hasn’t received a special call or special graces; he simply chooses this life and gets the bishop or superior to agree, and then prays for, and will receive, the graces necessary to live it out. Priesthood, religious life, married life, it makes no difference. Just be holy and do whatever.

D. The Special, Internal Vocation Theory. Here, “emphasis is laid upon the role of the virtue of magnanimity.” It is a “radical” act of the virtue of religion (the most important virtue, of which magnanimity is a “subset” virtue). It is “an intense act of devotion in a magnanimous mode.” You choose, with and by God’s grace, to live the most radical way to worship, honor, and adore God in this life.

It was this last theory that the author of the book expanded on and believes to be the correct theory. He attributes it to St. Thomas Aquinas. Here comes the rabbit that I fell into: setting the book aside to read St. Thomas directly before going back into the theory of what he supposedly said. I had given away my Summa and other Aquinas books when I moved to Kansas and my Kindle was in the car, so I turned to the computer. Which got me into Archive.org and books.google.com. But once there, I saw several other books on Religious Vocations that I had previously at least partially read, and I didn’t remember any of them outlining the divine call in this same way, so I started skimming through them to search for similarities.

I also saw that I had electronically set aside an 1885 book on the Dogma of the Immaculate Conception and, to prepare for that feast (which was then upcoming), I wandered out of the vocation rabbit hole and into this new tunnel. But Our Lady of Guadalupe's feast day was also quickly approaching, so I searched out some old books on the Tilma and Juan Diego and then something about Ember Days, and Christmas, and Epiphany...

And I had also set aside a real book, “The Collected Works of St. John of the Cross,” to get into, and I occasionally picked it up for a few minutes or hours (it’s hard to tell time while reading). And then a couple of books came in as Christmas presents. And so on, and so on...

Do you remember the articles I wrote about fidgeting? This is another marker of it! Physical fidgeting, spiritual fidgeting, literary fidgeting, and oh, so many more types! I have them all.

With prayers for your holiness,

Fr. Edwin Palka

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For those who wish to ask for prayers, discern a Vocation, or make donations:

[The Sisters now have a website! https://filiae.org/]

This blog is not monetized, since the good Sisters give me food and shelter. But if you wish to support the Filiae Laboris Mariae Sisters under my spiritual care, feel free to send them a note to: St. Joseph Convent, 1250 Hackberry Road, Redfield, KS 66769. They constantly pray, and their benefactors will get great spiritual rewards! That is also the address you can send snail mail to me. I suppose you already know or can guess my gmail address with the F*****P**** in front of it!